Helping children understand body safety
Simple, regular conversations can help even young children learn what to do when something feels wrong. Adapt your language to your child’s understanding.
- Use the proper names for body parts. Include private parts so children have the words to describe concerns.
- Explain rules about touch. Tell your child to speak to a trusted adult if someone looks at or touches their private parts, or asks them to look at or touch someone else’s. They will not be in trouble for telling.
- Practice what to say. Try “No!” or “Don’t do that.” These words can be used with adults and other children.
- Move away. Explain that they can leave someone’s lap or pull away from a hug, even when an adult asks for that contact.
- Tell—and keep telling. Identify three to five safe adults, including adults at home and in their program. Encourage your child to keep telling a trusted adult until someone responds and helps.
Warning signs to watch for
Watch for changes in your child’s behavior or unusual comments, and follow up in a relaxed, private conversation.
- Sudden changes in friends or interests
- Hiding money, gifts, or special treats
- Anger, aggression, or other behavior changes
- Fear or avoidance of certain people or places
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
- New or worsening anxiety or depression
- Changes in whom they want to be around
- Unusually “perfect” behavior
A warning sign does not prove abuse. These changes may signal distress or trauma and deserve your attention and follow-up.
Recognizing boundary violations
Pay attention to interactions that cross physical, emotional, or behavioral boundaries. The C4 guidance highlights the following behaviors to watch for.
Physical boundaries
Tickling, horseplay, hugging, massaging, wrestling, or excessive affection that crosses boundaries or makes a child uncomfortable.
Emotional boundaries
- Excessive time or attention, favoritism, gifts, or making a child feel they have a special relationship
- Possessiveness or controlling the child’s communication
- Excessive or inappropriate messaging or social media contact
- Sharing personal information or promising special treatment, such as extra coaching, scholarships, or a place on a team
Behavioral boundaries
Manipulating a child into sneaking around, lying about their whereabouts, keeping secrets with the person, looking at pornography, or using drugs or alcohol.
When a child reports uncomfortable behavior
If your child describes inappropriate behavior or touch, calmly ask for an example. If the interaction is inappropriate but may not be abuse, speak with a program staff member. Report suspected abuse to the appropriate authorities.
Encourage your child to tell a safe adult about anything that makes them uncomfortable. Children may feel embarrassed or fear upsetting a parent. If they tell someone else first, that is not your fault.
WHEN A CHILD SHARES A CONCERN
If a child tells you about abuse
Your response matters. If a child discloses sexual abuse, use these four steps from the C4 guidance.
- 1
Listen
Stay calm and let your child talk. Use open-ended questions such as “What happened?” Ask only for the details needed to report to law enforcement or child protective services.
- 2
Reassure
Let them know they did the right thing by telling you, that they have done nothing wrong, and that the abuse is not their fault. Tell them you will get help.
- 3
Protect
Make sure your child is safe and prevent further contact with the accused person. Explain that you must share what they told you with people who can help keep them safe and supported.
- 4
Report
As soon as possible, write down what your child shared in their actual words, without adding your interpretation. Inform law enforcement or child protective services and follow applicable state mandated reporting requirements.
Talking with your child
Make safety an ongoing, positive conversation so your child knows you can listen to difficult things.
- Choose a calm, unhurried, private time. Sitting side by side can help keep the conversation relaxed. Practice beforehand if the topic feels difficult.
- Stay calm and use everyday language. Match your words to your child’s understanding. Avoid angry, accusatory, or frightening reactions.
- Listen without interrupting. Avoid asking why they did not tell you sooner. A child may feel protective of someone they love or share only a little at first.
- Do not force the conversation. If your child stops talking or becomes upset, comfort them. You can return to the conversation later or identify another trusted adult they feel comfortable telling.
- After a disclosure, reassure and act. Say you are glad they told you. Write down their words while the conversation is fresh and follow appropriate reporting procedures.
Simple ways to begin
“What is your favorite thing to do there?”
“Has anyone made you feel uncomfortable?”
“Tell me more, I’m listening.”
Additional resources
- New York State reporting information
NYC311’s official government guidance lists the statewide child abuse reporting line and explains when to call 911.
- Child Protection at the Y
YMCA of the USA explains its national child-protection work and shares resources for families.
- Five Days of Action
The YMCA’s prevention campaign offers family resources, including information about digital safety.
- Who is a “Trusted Adult”? — NCMEC worksheet (PDF)
This two-page resource helps children recognize and name adults they can turn to for help.
Concerns involving the YMCA
Concerns involving Oneonta Family YMCA programs, staff, volunteers, or participant safety can also be brought to the YMCA. Call the main number to reach the organization.
(607) 432-0010
ymcawelcome@oneontaymca.org
20–26 Ford Ave, Oneonta, NY 13820
This is the YMCA’s general contact information. For suspected abuse, use the reporting information above; do not wait for a YMCA response in an emergency.
About this guidance
Educational content adapted from the supplied Praesidium C4 material, Sample Abuse Prevention Information for Parents and Guardians. Reporting and resource links checked September 24, 2026.
Praesidium makes no warranties, express or implied, including warranties of fitness for a particular purpose and merchantability, regarding the success or failure of fact-finding questions in preventing or reducing the incidence of abuse. This information is not legal advice, either expressed or implied.